Memories
by Bamfbabe
Summary: Just a little plot that got stuck in my head. Its a theory as to why Dumbledore trusts Snape. Spoilers for HBP.


Memories 

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. I'm a poor starving student so there's no point in suing!

**Authors note: **this is just a one shot that jumped into my head.

Harry sighed as he walked towards the door to number four privet drive. He felt empty, numb. The thought of spending more time in the house didn't even bother him anymore. He just couldn't feel. He slowly lifted his hand to ring the bell, but stopped half way there, wondering was there any point in spending time there. It would help keep him alive, but did he really want that? Harry honestly didn't know. The only reason he had come back was that he had nowhere else to go.

His whole world had fallen apart, and all it took was two words. Two words uttered by Severus Snape. Avada Kedavra. That was all it took to kill the greatest wizard of all time, and to kill a piece of Harry Potters soul. He sighed and lifted his hand again, this time ringing the doorbell. His aunt answered but he walked up the stairs and into his room before she had a chance to say anything.

Harry noticed the parchment on his bed immediately. His breath caught in his throat as he also noticed the familiar slanted writing on the outside. He closed a locked the bedroom door and slowly made his way to the bed. He picked up the parchment and unrolled it with shaking hands. As he read small hot tears made their way down his cheeks and dropped onto the floor.

_Dear Harry,_

_As soon as I learned of my approaching death, I made provisions for this letter to be sent to you when this unfortunate event occurs. It is imperative that you return to your aunt's abode before you come of age. Harry, I know how unpleasant this is for you but you must, for everyone's sake. _

_The brutal nature of my death will shock the wizarding world as a whole, and in particular those close to me. This includes you Harry, I have always held a special place in my heart for you. However certain aspects need to be explained to you in order to prevent you from seeking revenge. Harry, Severus was acting under my orders. He killed me to protect an innocent. I know you will not understand this now but in the future I hope you will come to accept that it was necessary. Maybe you will even learn to forgive?_

_But for the moment, I need you to once again trust me. Severus will need your help in the forthcoming years, and you will need his. It is of vital importance and I need you to accept this. _

_Next year, I implore you, please return to Hogwarts. You will need to learn everything you can before facing Voldemort, and even without me Hogwarts is still the safest place for you. The search for the horcruxes can be put on hold until you have reached the height of your powers, for your sake and for the sake of all that is good._

_Harry, be on your guard. The order will be looking out for you, but the can't be everywhere. Please, I ask you again, return to Privet Drive once more. And remember Harry, Severus is a very powerful asset. _

_Under your bed you will find a pensieve and a memory bottle. They will answer a question that up until now I have refused to answer. I hope it will help you to understand the events leading to my death. Once again, please trust me._

_Yours, even in death,_

_Albus Dumbledore._

Harry came to the end of the letter and wiped his eyes. He didn't understand how Dumbledore could ask these things of him. It seemed impossible for him to even think about Snape without wanting to murder him. How could Dumbledore ask him to forgive? He bent down and saw the familiar stone pensieve under his bed. There was a small glass bottle with a silvery thread inside. There was nothing to do but see what it contained.

Harry placed the tip of his wand at the mouth of the bottle and slowly pulled the memory out. He placed it gently in the pensieve. He watched it float in there for a while, trying to delay the moment that he would find out what it contained. Finally, He took a deep breath and bent down, bringing his head closer to the stone basin.

Suddenly he found himself in what looked to be knockturn alley. He saw a young Dumbledore hurrying down the street and he followed. They had been walking hurriedly down the street for about five minutes when Harry saw a figure huddled in a doorway. This seemed to be what Dumbldore had been looking for as he slowed down as they neared. The figure heard the Dumbledore's footsteps and looked up. Harry let out a gasp of surprise, as the figure was none other than Snape.

Harry couldn't help but notice how tired and haggard Snape looked. When he spoke his voice sounded scratchy and fatigued. "I thought you wouldn't have come. I thought you'd given up on me like everyone else…"

Dumbledore looked saddened at these words. "My dear boy, I would never give up on a student. Present or Past. No one is gone beyond redemption."

Snape snorted in disbelief. He answered quietly, and Harry had to strain to hear him say "You have no idea what I've done… we cant speak here, its to dangerous."

Dumbledore sighed and took Snape's hand to pull him up. "Come, my boy. We'll go somewhere more comfortable."

Harry got the impression that the memory had been tampered with as he was pulled unceremoniously off the ground and suddenly landed in Dumbledore's office. He thought Dumbledore must have done this to shorten it for him. Snape looked cleaner and refreshed since Harry had seen him last. He was sitting in a squashy armchair by the fire. Dumbledore had seated himself opposite. Harry positioned himself at Dumbledore's shoulder to hear everything that went on.

Dumbledore was the first to speak. "You sent me that message for a reason Severus. Is there something that you want to tell me?"

Snape remained silent, but his eyes seemed to cry out for help. Dumbledore tried again. "I can't help you unless you confide in me. You know what you say will go no further then these walls."

Once again he was met with silence, but a large tear had formed at the corner of Snape's eye and was slowly falling. Dumbledore tried a different approach. "Ok. I'll make it easy for you. I know you are a death eater" he said the words as though they tasted putrid in his mouth. "I know what you overheard in the leaky cauldron that day, and I know who you reported it to." He paused here to let his words sink in and then continued. "I also know the consequences of your actions… James and lily potter-"

He was cut short as Snape began speaking. His were choked out between what sounded to Harry like sobs. "I didn't know it was their child… If Id known lily would be… If Id known I wouldn't have…" slowly the sobs stopped and his breathing came back to normal. He looked up at Dumbledore and Harry saw nothing but sorrow in his eyes. "What have I done?"

Dumbledore sighed. He spoke slowly as though he was choosing his words carefully. "What have you done? Only time will tell. The child lived and brought down the dark one. You may have caused the downfall of Lord Voldemort… but I don't think it will be that easy…"

Snape sighed loudly. "I don't think it will be that easy. He may have been stripped of his powers for the moment, but it will not last. All I have done is leave a child an orphan, and cause the deaths of two innocent people. And one of those was lily…" once again tears began to form in Snape's eyes but he brushed them away angrily. "I don't deserve to grieve… What right do I have? I killed her… I killed lily. I killed dear, sweet innocent lily… I… I… I killed her… I killed lily…"

Dumbledore let him cry for a few more minutes before speaking. "Yes, severus, you did. But you regret it. And that shows me you are not a true follower of Voldemort. If that were the case, you would have killed a 'mudblood'. But you know you killed a person…"

Snape looked up and Harry could see an endless amount of emotion running through those normally cold, black eyes, but the strongest was grief. It was a raw, powerful grief that could only have come from the heart. Harry realised that that this was how Dumbledore had known Snape was on their side. No one could fake that kind of emotion. "I want to make it right. I know I can never be forgiven for all the terrible things I've done but I want to make it as right as it can be… I want to fix it."

The scene before Harry began to blur and he found himself sitting on his bed in privet drive. He picked up the letter again and as he reread it he noticed a postscript appearing on the page.

_P.S. I hope this has cleared things up for you. As you have just seen, Severus is and has always been on our side. I know this will be difficult to believe, but he had to kill me. The success of our mission depends on you believing this Harry. Severus will get in touch when the time is right, and I need you to listen to what he has to say. I will stress it one more time: He is a valuable source of information. Please do as I have instructed. _

_Until we meet again,_

_Albus Dumbledore. _


End file.
